perhaps i should change my blog title to catharsis...as inspired by lainey. after all, writing is my outlet. but, like lainey, my writing seems to jinx everything.

just one week after my previous entry...here i am, all fucked up yet still going. i mean, no one needs to tell me to pick myself up and stay strong...cuz i know i'm capable of it; that no matter how much of rock bottom i seem to be at, i'd still be able to go about with my life. so you asses: don't, for even one second, think i'm to be messed with.

i've regrouped. so i guess i've failed myself to some extent. i haven't been able to keep caring...or stay on my "changed" track. i'm back to the "screw you all" stage, and completely devoid of all feeling. of course, i can still act some, and tell you what you want to hear...behave like i'm the only one who understands. fuck it serene.

i want to sleep...let the darkness engulf me...take me as a whole for once. at least night rages won't be able to consume me if i were to fall into deep slumber.