looking back at how i was in primary school, you would never think i'd turn out to be like this...not that i've gotten rid of that inferior complex.

i remember this one time when i asked my mom if all non-goodlooking girls will grow up to look beautiful. i remember she said that they most probably will.

such inane questions...yet so much insight as a little one.

in secondary school, i rose to become one of the more well-known (read: popular) faces around. i bore a neverending stream of committments and people respected me somewhat...whatever people respected you for in secondary school i don't know. i guess at that time, it did feel good to be thought of as THE ONE.

then in mass comm, i started off just fine...working off the steam leftover from secondary school, except that i was more wary of people, having found myself just a few months earlier. after a few knock-downs, i just couldn't be bothered anymore. i went about my work, choosing to focus on getting good grades and working towards that one goal. interpersonal relations didn't matter to me. i mean...i wasn't a bitch, but i wasn't lil' miss sunshine either. i became labeled as "unapproachable". well, at least the people who've worked with me called me "independant" and "focused" rather than a plain and simple "bitchy".

so i leave poly, and my focus wavers for a bit because my goal turned out to be THAT unachievable. i retreated even more as i realized how unattainable that goal seemed to be.